Have you ever turned on the radio just in time to hear a song that hits close to home? No matter what kind of mood you're in, or what your day's stresses consist of, there is always that one song that fits you perfectly at that moment. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Sometimes it cheers you up, and sometimes it makes you cry. And if it's the truth, it usually hurts when you hear it.
For me, that song is "Don't Forget To Remember Me" by Carrie Underwood. I was standing in the kitchen attempting to make dinner when I heard it. I don't even think I made it to the chorus before I started balling. In case you haven't heard it before...
Once I finished listening to the song, I walked downstairs. With no words spoken, I hugged Paul with everything I had. At that point, he was the only thing holding me together and the strength that was keeping me here. I'm sure he was surprised it took me a full week before my first emotional break down (I had many even before we left AZ). But if he was, he never said a word.
Don't get me wrong, I AM enjoying this once in a lifetime adventure living in NY. In fact, I'm having the time of my life. I'm learning so much about myself. In the beginning, I thought I needed to stay so others wouldn't think I was a quitter or that I couldn't survive the big apple. But now I know I am staying for ME. I have already gotten much stronger, and my relationship with Paul has never been better. Right HERE and right NOW, I am HAPPY :) I am proud of all the risks I have taken this year already. And I know that I CAN survive the big city . . . or in a small town in Long Island thousands of miles from everything I've ever known. But through all our adventures, big or small, easy or seemingly impossible, near or far, I am constantly thinking of my family and friends back home.
P.S. Momma, don't forget to tell my big sister,
I'll see her in the fall (when she has the baby!)
Tell Grandma that I miss her,
I should giver her a call
And make sure you tell Daddy,
That I'm still his little girl
I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be
But don't forget to remember me
Your killing me D! I'm seriously balling right now. I think of you every moment of every day and how much I miss you. It's weird when I actually stop to think about how far away you really are. You are so brave and I am so proud of you. I am so blessed to have you as a sister. Even though your my little sis, I still look up to you. I can't wait to come visit you- tomorrow wouldn't be soon enough!
ReplyDeleteLove you bunches!
You are so right, you will learn more about yourself through this experience than in the last 26 (?) years. I have been there and I remember how hard it was! Your family is the one constant that will always be with you no matter where you are, what you do, or how many mistakes you make. Just remember that. Embrace the experience. The good, the bad, and everything in between. You'll look back someday, when you're bound by children and a job, and remember the freedom you had and all the new experiences the two of you shared together. We're with you in heart! Love you!!
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